Question

Quero saber se há algum erro de gramática, se as transições dos parágrafos estão boas, e se eu poderia usar uma outra palavra pra que a frase fique melhor.

"When I was looking for something to start my career, I had many doubts until my boyfriend told me about a devotional it would have about Pathway, a program in partnership with the BYU-Idaho. I went without many expectations, but when I heard about the program I was sure I wanted to participate. I took the test and I passed.
The first meeting was in my ward, so I felt at home on arrival, but when we started the lesson with all people speaking English and so fast, I thought "Is that if I leave now, someone will notice?". The first classes and assignments were difficult and so much, but during the first semester I was realizing how much I was evolving and the gatherings were no longer as scary as it was in the beginning. Then, when I took the grade A in the first semester I felt I could do that, if I continued to do a hard work.
Then, came the second semester, which was also not very easy. I learned the numbers and accounts in English, who knows me knows how abstract are the numbers for me in Portuguese let alone explain an account in English. Something that really was a blessing for me were my friends of the gathering. They were wonderful, attentive and we helped each other. I took grade A again and felt increasingly able to do this.
Finally came the third semester. The writing assignments were terrible at the beginning, I started to discredit again I could do it. I took 70% in my first essay and thought I would never write a good essay. But after studying hard in the first and second semester, I could do it in that, and that is what I did. I studied, I read all the tips of my instructor, and I looked on the internet to improve techniques. In my last writing it was difficult to talk about my own experience because it was about a deep depression that I had in the past, but the writing, transitional paragraphs, the introduction, and the grammar I felt confident to do and I took 100%.
For me it was a unique experience and helped me grow both temporally and spiritually. I liked most the scripture study and I improve a lot my vocabulary. I learned to manage my time and not procrastinate. I will continue studying English to never forget this wonderful year I spent in this blessed program and I will continue at BYU-Idaho."

Answer 1

Check this out:

When I looked for something to start my career, I was having many doubts until my boyfriend told me about Pathway, an educational program in partnership with the BYU-Idaho. When I heard about this program, I was sure I wanted to participate, but I went without many expectations. I took the test and I passed.
The first meeting was in my ward, so I felt at home on arrival, but when we started the lesson with all the people speaking English and so fast, I thought "If I leave now, will someone notice?". The first classes and assignments were too much and so difficult, but during the first semester I started to realize how much I was evolving and the gatherings were no longer as scary as they were in the beginning. Then, when I took the grade A at the end of the first semester, I felt I could make it, if I continued to work hard.
Then, came the second semester, which was also not very easy. I learned the numbers and accounts in English - those who knows me know how abstract the numbers are for me in Portuguese let alone explain an account in English. My friends of the gatherings were a blessing to me. They were wonderful, attentive and we helped each other. I took grade A again and felt increasingly able to do this.
Finally came the third semester. The writing assignments were terrible at the beginning and I started to discredit myself again that I could do it. I got 70% in my first essay and thought I would never write a good one. But after studying hard in the first and second semesters, I knew I could do it, and that is what I did. I studied, I read all my instructor's tips, and I searched the internet to improve techniques. In my last writing, it was difficult to talk about my own experience since it was about a deep depression I had had in the past, but I felt confident to do the writing, transitional paragraphs, the introduction, and the grammar and I got 100%.
For me, it was a unique experience which helped me grow both temporally and spiritually. I liked most studying the scriptures and my vocabulary improved a lot. I learned to manage my time and not to procrastinate. I will continue studying English to never forget this wonderful year I spent in this blessed program and I will continue at BYU-Idaho.


It's a good text, needing minor improvement. Congrats!