Question

Correção de Redação em Inglês:

Pessoal o que teria de errado nessa redação? Alguém pode me ajudar?
The technology has taken such huge proportions that currently the last decades these developments have become so big that it became difficult for us Brazilians accompany increasing evolution.I used to have a cell phone when she was 4 years old (even not knowing tinker and play around with it). Its only function was to call people. I used to play on a computer with Windows 96. Did not have internet, the screens were great, there was a USB port and used up floppy disk instead of CD. I used to watch movies on video tape, which was used tapes only give up to 2 hours of recording and the quality was not very good. Today, we use the DVDs can already be for hours of recordings and extreme qualities of the image that was not previously possible.As we see the technology has advanced a lot about these 10 years. And so if you see every day will further advance, greatly facilitating our lives. Just all we use it the right way.

Answer 1

ERROS:
1º - ...has taken such a huge...
2º - ...difficult for Brazilian...
3º - ...I used to have a cell  phone when she was...  você está falando de você ou ela?
4º - ... Did not have internet... se estiver falando que você não tinha internet ocê tem que usar o sujeito, ou seja, I did not have internet.
5º - DVDs can also recording for hours and it has a high definition image.
6º - As we see,  ...
7º - So if you... não precisa usar o AND